Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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