we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
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You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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