how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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