if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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