so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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