You're earring is so big in my mouth
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
