I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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