I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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