just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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