My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
