Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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