Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
