I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
