What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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