I just made out with a guy for $7.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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