I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
