Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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