At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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