I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
