So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I wish you could order shots online.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
