If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
