so that wasnt chicken after all
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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