dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
