i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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