it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
you made out with another girl for some wings
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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