Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
