last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
