I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
