At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
