I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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