I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
