I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
