so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
