I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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