take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
