I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
