There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize