my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
