So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
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I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
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You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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