Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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