I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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