Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
