How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
