Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We had to coat check the pizza.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
