Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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