sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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