I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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