Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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