what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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