ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
