why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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