pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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