Sponge bath it is.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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