I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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