Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
