Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
